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  Theplanesatonthetarmacforanotherthreehours.Duringthattime,thetoilet begantooverflowandthecontentsactuallystartedtorolldowntheaisle.

  Whiletheflightattendantsattemptedtodealwiththat,inadequately,anAsian womantworowsaheadofmestoodup,cryinghysterically,andshoutedthather grandmotherhadpassedoutnexttoher.Paramedicssoonboardedtheplaneand

  tookheraway.ApartyoffournativeTexansthendemandedtobeletoffthe aircraftalso,statingthattheycoulddrivetoHoustonbeforetheplanewouldever getthere.

  Eventually,though,theplanedidreturntoHoustonairspace,andsuccessfully landed.Bythattime,myconversationwithHaruthaddieddown,aswewere bothchokingonthestenchoftheoverflowedtoiletandtryingnottopissinour pants.Isaidgoodbyetohimasweexitedtheplane.

  Then,afterusingthebathroomasquicklyaspossible,Ihurriedovertothefirst UnitedAirlinesboothIfoundthathadanemployeepresent.Theairportwas ominouslyemptyexceptformyfellowdisplacedpassengers,whowerescattered aroundfranticallytryingtofindsomeonetorescheduletheconnectingflights theyhadmissed.

  WhenIgottotheUnitedAirlinesbooth,attendedbyamiddle‐agedblack woman,Ifoundtherewasnoneedtohurry.Therewerenomoreflightsto Englanddepartingthatnight.Instead,IwouldtakeashuttletothelocalMarriott, wheretheyhadarrangedaroomforme,andwaitforaflightthefollowing morning.

  IthenaskedwhereIcouldfindmyluggage.Thewomaninformedmethatmy suitcasewasonitswaytoanotherdestinationsomewhereelseintheUnited States.

  “You’llhavetocatchupwithit someothertime,”shesaidflippantly,asthough itdidn’tmatterwhenorwhereIeventuallyfoundmysuitcase.Icouldn’tbelieve it.

  “YoumeanIhavetodothislectureinEnglandwithoutevenachangeof clothes?”Iwhined,toutterlydeaf,indifferentears.“Idon’tevenhavemymake-uporshampoobecauseI’mnotallowedtotakeitinmycarry‐on!”

  Shestartedatmeblankly,waitingformytantrumtoend,waitingformeto realizeIwasn’tspecialandthatmyproblemsdidn’tmattertoheratall.WhenI lookeddown,Inoticedthatshewashandingmeasmallblacknylonbagwitha zipperandtheUnitedAirlineslogoonit.Insidewasacollectionoftravel‐sized toiletries.

  Itookthebagandmylaptopcase,theonlypossessionsIhadwithmeanymore,

  andslinkedawaydejectedly,muttering“thankyou”withtotalinsincerity.AsI walkedovertothedeparturezonetomeetmyshuttle,Ipasseda statueofGeorgeW.Bush,forwhomHouston’sairportisnamed.Itookitasan omenthatmymissionwouldfail.

  Chapter4:AnswersLacking

  Ifanypartofyouruncertaintyisastrugglebetweenyourheartandyourmind, followyourmind.

  —AynRand, AtlasShrugged

  Atthehotel,IhadtriedcallingLeopoldwithalong‐distancecallingcard,using thephonenumberhehadgivenme.Itrangandrangwiththatodd,nervousring theyuseintheBritishtelephonesystem.Butnobodypickedup.Therewasno voicemailoranything.Ihadnevercalledthenumberbefore,asIhadnoreason to.AllofourcorrespondencehadbeenthroughemailexceptforthatoneSkype conversation.

  Icheckedthenumberinmyemailarchivestwiceusingmylaptopandthehotel’s Wi‐Fi.IwascertainIwasdialingcorrectly.IevenusedGoogletomakesureI waspunchingthecityandcountrycodesright.Iwas.Isleptforafewhours,and thentriedagainatdawn,whichwas11AMinEngland.Buttherewasstillno answer.

  SoIhadnochoicebuttogiveuponthat.Iloggedintomyemailagain,andwas surprisedtofindnothingfromhimthereeither.Iwrotehimamessagetelling himwhathadhappened,andaskedhimtomakesuremygreetingpartywas awareofmynewarrivaltime.Ithenhurrieddowntohavebreakfastincaféat thehotellobby,asIhadnotfoundanythingtoeatsincethepreviousmorning.

  WhileIatemyraisinbran,Iusedmylaptoptocheckthenews.Atoolbaratthe topofmybrowserthatpointsoutsignificantanniversariesforeachdate remindedmethatitwas“SpyWednesday,”anamefortheWednesdaybefore Easter.Findingthisinteresting,Iclickedonthelinkprovided,whichleadtoa Wikipediaarticle.

  AsIsuspected,thedefinitionoftheword“spy”beingusedinthisinstanceisthe verbformmeaning“toambushorensnare,”becausethisisthedayonwhich,

  theysay,JudasIscariotbetrayedJesus.TheCatholicsobservethisdaywiththe Tenebrae(“Darkness”)liturgy,inwhichtheygraduallyextinguishallthe candlesonthealtar.Whenthelastoneisout,andthechurchiscompletelydark, the Strepitus isperformed.Thisisaloudcrashingsound,oftenmadebythe priestabruptlyshuttingalargeBible,thatismadetomimictheearthquake traditionallysaidtohaveoccurredatthemomentofChrist’sdeath.Tenebraewas originallywrittentobeperformedonGoodFriday,theanniversaryofthatdeath, andisstillinsomeplaces,whileinothersitisperformedthedaybefore,on MaundyThursday.

  ThisremindedmeofanimageI’dseeninJosephvonHammer‐Purgstall’s1818

  treatise MysteriumBaphometisRevelatum,whichI’dhadtranslatedfromthe Latinandpublishedlastyearalongwithmyown“Baphomet”book.Itwasfrom aceremonialstonebowl,oneofthemany“Templarartifacts”he’ddiscoveredin churchesinEuropelocatedontheirformerproperties.Itshowedanakedwoman kneelingonthegroundbetweentwoimagesofafigureidentifiedonseveralof theartifactsas“Mete,”ahermaphroditeentity.Thewomanwaspouringwater outofavaseontothecandlesofacandelabrumcalleda“seven-branch”(what theJewscalla menorah).

  AccordingtoChurchFathersClementandPhilo,bothofAlexandria,theflames ontheseven‐branchrepresentthesevenclassicalplanetsrecognizedinantiquity.

  ThesymbolismofthisceremonyseemsabitlikewhatMohammeddidby reducingthenumberofidolsintheIslamicKaabafrom360tojustone,astone representingthemonotheisticGod.Inthe Tenebrae,allbutoneofthe“heavenly lights”onceworshipedbypaganmanwereputoutexceptforone(representing theSun,withtheSunre‐baptizedasJesusChrist).

  Hammer‐PurgstallthoughtthattheTemplarsweresecretdevoteesofOphite

  Gnosticism,aGreco‐Romanmysterycultthatviewedcreationasaprison controlledbythepowerofillusion.Thegoaloftheirritualswastodethronethe

  “Archons”abovesothattheycouldbreakoutofthejail.TheArchonswerethe rulersoffate,seenasbeingidenticalwiththevisible“planets”oftheancients, amongwhichtheSunandtheMoonwereincludedatthetime(theothersbeing Mercury,Mars,Venus,JupiterandSaturn).

  EachArchonwasviewedtoruleoneofthe“heavens”definedbywhatwenow callits“orbit.”Thesesevenheavenswerethoughttobestackedabovethe earthlyrealm,asthoughinalayercake,eachanotherlayerofconfinement, keepingoursoulslockedawayfromthesourceofpurespirit,accessible

  somewherebeyondthesphereofSaturn.

  Jehovah,thegodoftheBible,wasthoughtbyGnosticstomerelybeoneofthese Archons,identifiablewithJupiter,a.k.a.Jove,whomtheGreekscalledZeus.

  Hismother,theGnosticwisdomgoddessSophia‐Achamoth,wasaddedtothe seventoformthe Ogdoad—theEight.Hammer‐PurgstallthoughtthatSophia-AchamothwasworshipedbytheKnightsTemplarintheformof“Baphomet”or

  “Mete.”

  Thislattername,hethought,couldbetracedbacktotheGreekfigureofMetis, thefirstbrideofZeus.Sheplayedaveryimportantroleinitiatingandupholding hisruleaskingofthegods.Like“Sophia,”hernametranslateddirectlyto

  “wisdom,”specifically“cunning,”“prudence”and“wisecounsel.”To understandwhathappenedtoher,wehavetogoallthewaybacktothe

  “Genesis”storyofGreekmythology.

  ZeuswasthesonofChronos,whohadtocastratehisfatherOuranosinorderto escapethewombofhismother,Gaia.Ouranoshaddeliberatelypreventedhis childrenfro
mbeingborn,cognizantthatoneofthemwasfatedtooverthrowhim asthekingofthegods.WhenChronoslaterengenderedhisownchildrenwith hiswifeRhea,hebecameawareofasimilarfatethatwastocomefromoneof theseprogeny.Sohedevisedhisownwayofdealingwithitbyswallowingthem uponbirth.

  ButjustasGaiahadschemedagainstherhusbandtoaidhersonChronosin fulfillinghisdestiny(bysupplyinghiswiththecastrationknife),Rheacameup withaplantosavehersonZeusfromendingupinhisfather’sstomach.Inthis case,shesubstitutedthebabywithadecoyintheformofastonewrappedin swaddlingclothes.Later,theysay,Zeusfoundawaytopoisonhisfather, causinghimtovomitupalltheotherchildrenthathadalreadybeenswallowed.

  Zeusandhissiblingsthenfoughttheirwaytosupremacy,overthrowing Chronos.Thecleverwitchwhoconceivedthepoisonplotwasthegoddess Metis,Hammer‐Purgstall’s

  “Mete,”whomZeussubsequentlymarried.

  Asthestorygoes,Zeus,justlikehispredecessors,gainedknowledgeofa prophecythatifhebredwithMetis,oneofthechildrenwouldoverthrowhim.

  Havingalreadyconsummatedtheweddingandimpregnatedher,hissolutionwas toswallowthemotherbeforethebirthevenhappened.Hewasabletodothis, somesay,bytrickingherintoturningherselfintoafly,sothatshewassmall enoughtogoinsidehismouth.However,otherdepictionsoftheactshowhim eatingherlimbbylimbatfullsize.

  Whicheverwayithappened,aswiththeOlympiangodsinthegulletofChronos, Metiswasimmortal,sosheremainedaliveinsideZeus.Eventuallyshegave birthtoadaughter,thewiseAthena.MetisworkedfromwithinZeus’bodyto hammeroutacoatofarmorforherdaughtertowear.Thehammeringcaused Zeusdiscomfort,andsohehadhisheadcleavedopentoalleviatethepressure.

  ThisallowedAthenatoescape.

  ShewentontobecomeanimportantgoddesstotheGreeks,associated,likeher mother,withwisdom.ButforsomereasonMetisdidnotescapewithher

  daughter,andremainedinsideZeus.Hereportedlyutilizedherasasourceof wisecouncilduringhisreign,andshewasoftendepictedsupportinghisthrone fromunderneath,proppingitup,likearoyalslave.

  Whatarawdeal,IthoughtasIponderthesestoriesagain. Iwonderwhat kept

  herfromleavingwithAthena.Wasitthechains?

  OntheMetecoffer,thegoddesswasshownholdingapairofchains.TheSun wasshownattachedtothetopofonechain,andtheMoontotheother,withthe solarandlunarfacesshownupside‐down.Thesechainsalsoappeartohavebeen shackledtoMete’slegs.Theimageseemedtometobeshowingherinthemidst ofbreakingthechainsfromherankleswhilesimultaneouslydraggingthe heavenlybodiesdownfromthesky.

  WasthedestructionoftheArchonticorderMete’srevengeforbeing imprisoned andenslavedbyZeus? Iwondered. TheGnosticssawSophia-Achamothasa heroinetryingtohelpthemescapethejailofillusoryexistence.

  Maybetheideaisthatshe’strappedinsideherewiththerestofus,soherescape isalsoourchanceforescape.

  Onthe“Templarartifact”thatfeaturedthecandelabrabeingextinguished,the figureofMeteontherightisholdingthechains(withouttheheavenlybodies included),whichthehornedfigureofMeteontheleftisholdingabanner displayingArabicwriting.Hammer‐Purgstall’stranslationofthiswriting includesthephrases“Meteisexalted”and“oneandsevenwereourrace,”

  referring,hethought,totheGnosticbeliefthatSophia‐Achamothwasthe motheroftheothersevenArchons.

  IfMeteisexalted,Ithought, thatmeansthatshe’ssomehowescapedfrom inside Zeus.Buthow?Maybethroughtherectum?

  ThereasonIthoughtaboutthiswasnotjustbecauseit’stheonlyobviousway outifone’sbeenswallowed.Italsooccurredtomebecauseanotherphrase writteninArabiconMete’sbannernexttothecandelabrais:“Hemakesreturn easythroughtherectum.”Hammer‐Purgstallhadn’treallydecipheredthe meaningofthis,excepttoidentifyitasbeingrelatedtotherumoredTemplar ritesofsodomicpederasty,nowconfirmedbecauseoftheirconfessionstothe Pope,documentedintheChinonParchmentreleasedbytheVaticanin2007.But now,asIponderedthis,IwonderedifthatwaswhytheSunandMoonwere shownupside‐down.

  PerhapsitisreallyMetewhoisupside‐down,Ithought, comingoutthrough the rearexit.Maybethat’sthemeaningofthemessagehefoundonthebackof the idolofMetecarryingababy.

  Iwasthinkingaboutyetanother“Templarartifact”depictedinalinedrawingin Hammer‐Purgstall’swork.Itshowedafigureofuncertainsexinahoodedrobe holdinganinfant.

  Onthebackoftheidol,Hammer‐Purgstallreportedthattherewasamessage writtenincode.ItwasinGreek,butwithArabicletters,andtransposedoutof order.Whendecoded,theyspelledoutthismessage: OmnipotentMetesprouting, adebauchedwomanspringsupforour racethrough prokton .

  ProktonintheGreekwordforanus.

  ThenanothermeaningoftheinvertedSunandMoon(or,inthealternative interpretation,Meteshownhangingupside‐down)alsooccurredtoasIsatthere thinking.Ihadwrittenin TheBaphometPapers thatwhatwecall“Satanism”

  waslargelyinfluencedbyGnosticismanditsspiritualwaragainstthecreatorof thisphysicaluniverse.ThisiswheretheSatanicprincipleofinvertingJudeo-Christiansymbols,prayers,andritualscamefrom.IarguedthattheKnights Templarmayhavethemselvesbeentheoriginatorsofthistradition,considering

  theirsecretinitiationriteofurinatingonthecrossanddenyingChrist,again confirmedthroughrecently‐revealednon‐coercedconfessionsoftheknights.

  Withthisinmind,Ithoughtofanewidea.

  IcombedthroughfilesonmycomputeruntilIfoundfolderwiththeHammer-Purgstallpictures,includingthelidoftheMetecoffer,thepictureofthehooded idolholdingthebaby,andtheimagethenakedladypouringwateronthecandles in‐betweenthetwoMetes.Ilookedatthembothwithcontemplation.

  Whilethe TenebraeisaChristianritual,theoneillustratedonHammer-Purgstall’s

  “Templarartifact”was,accordingtohim,amoreGnosticinterpretationofit.He relatedittothefactthatChurchFathers(JustinMartyrinparticular,forinstance) hadaccusedGnosticsofpracticingablasphemousritecalled“theUpsettingof theLamps.”

  IfthisistrulyadepictionofaTemplarrite,Ithought, itwasundoubtedly meant asasacrilegiouscelebrationofthedestructiontheArchons.Theymight have evendonethewholeTenebrae asanovertlySatanicblackmass, snuffingout the lightoftheSuntoo,andthuskillingChrist,accordingtothesymbolism.

  AsIfinishedmybreakfastatthehotelrestaurant,Idecidedtomoveontothe DrudgeReportfortheday’sheadlines.Ifoundthatthepreviousdaytherehad beenyetanotherprecipitousfallinthevalueofthepound.Youmayrecallthat thishadbeenhappeningeversincethegovernmenthaddecidedtoessentially nullifythemeaningofBritain’splantoexitfromtheEuropeanUnion.

  Theyhadputitoffindefinitelyinastateofdeclaredemergencythateveryone assumedwouldneverbelifted.

  Thiswasgoodformyexchangeratewhilevisiting,butbadforthenatives,I knew.Whatwasworse,thegovernmentrefusedtoacknowledgetheobvious causeoftheinstability,blamingitinsteadontherecentstringofhomegrown terroristattacksinthenameofISIS,necessitatingyetmorepolicestate expansion.

  IntheUK,fromwhatIread,everyonewasactuallypiningforaroyaldecreeto overruletheelectedgovernment,whichhadsoclearlybeenderelictinitsdutyto honorthewillofthepeople.ThenewestPrimeMinisterwasevenmorefaithless

  thanthelast.ButalthoughtheQueenhadn’tbeenseeninoverthreemonths,she stilloccasionallysigneddocuments,andappearedtobesettoliveforever.She wasrumoredtobebedriddenonsomethingakintolifesupport,albeitstill conscious.

  Peoplesuchasme,persistenthoundsofalternativenewsdata,hadkeptup
onthe rumors.However,thetopicwasbeingcensoredinthemainstreamnews,andall majorsocialmediaplatformshadplaceditontheever‐growinglistofforbidden topics.Iftherumorsweretrue,Iknew,thentheQueenwasunlikelytobe leadinganyrevolutionsagainstthegovernmentonbehalfofherbeleaguered subjects.

  AsIreadthenews,Icompulsivelyreloadedmyemail,hopingtogetwordfrom Leopold,whobynowshouldhavenoticedthatIhadn’tarrivedontime.Butit wasinvain.Hesaidnothing.Anotherphonecallplacedfrommyroomagain yieldednoresults.EventuallyIboardedtheshuttle,rodethroughagiantforest offloatingrooftanksfilledwithpetroleumproducts,andthenboardedanother plane.

  AlthoughIstayedontheaircraftforanotherfifteenhours,withtwostopsalong theway,therestwasamuchsmootherridethanthefirstleg.Ihadtheentirerow tomyself,soIgottostretchoutandrest.IusedthebathroomwheneverI wanted.Theyfedusacoupleofmealsandshowedusamovie,thenewremake of Zardoz.Ihateremakes,soIdidn’tputtheheadphonesontolisten.Instead,I laidontheseatsandtriednottowonderifLeopoldBlackhadgottenmy messageyet.

  Chapter5:TerribilisestLocusIste

  Boastingaprimelocationandunbeatableprices,theRegentPalaceiseasilyone ofthebestvaluelodgingsinLondon.Withinminutesofentertainment,fine diningandshoppingvenues,thehotelisattractivetobothbusinessandleisure guestsseekingtheultimatebargain.

  AccommodationsallconsistofcolourTV,directdialtelephoneandwashbasin andofthe888roomswithinthehotel,385havetheirownen‐suitebathroom.

  —regentpalacehotel.co.uk,2005

  Myfake‐it‐‘til‐you‐make‐itfalsebravadohadkeptmegoingthroughthis

  inauspiciousadventuresofar.ButthatbegantofadewhenIwasfinallyableto takemyphoneoutofAirplaneModeandintoSprintGlobalRoaming.Iusedthe Gmailapptocheckmyemail.WhenIfoundthattherewasstillnoanswerfrom LeopoldBlack,andmyheartbegantosink.